Having made a full recovery following Chewy’s attempt to boil and eat him, Wee Tam has been busy planning his next adventure. He received so many kind and loving emails and texts from his wider family wishing him a speedy recovery, he has decided to embark on a very special journey, “Wee Tam’s Family Tour of the UK”. His Dad, Big Tam, used to tell him stories about his large family which was spread across Scotland, England, Wales and Ireland. “Why is our family so spread out” Wee Tam had asked, and his dad had described the Highland Breakfast clearances many years ago, where his Uncle’s, Aunt’s and cousins had been driven out by the Cumberland Sausage Army, to make way for English Ingredients to take over the Glens.
Big Tam had told him so many stories, some had been very funny, but others had been a little scary. Wee Tam loved the idea of meeting his family though, so he decided to ignore the scary bits. He had decided to start his trip in England’s capital city, London, where he would stay with his Uncle, Corblimey, a jellied eel from the east-end. From there his tour would take him to the beautiful Taffioca Valley in Wales, to spend time with his cousin, Whosecoat a Welsh Cake from Merfa Toadville, who his dad had told him could be very naughty. It would then be back to England and off to Liverpool to see Awrae, a very funny, happy go lucky little Tatty who spent his time avoiding being dropped into a pan of Scouse by some nasty little Bun Loaf. Wee Tam was a bit concerned about joining Tatty in the pan of Scouse, but he was determined to visit all his relatives no matter what; Crocky Park couldn’t be that scary, could it?
Wee Tam was really excited to be visiting Ireland where he planned to visit family members in the North and the Republic. He was looking forward to travelling from Liverpool to Belfast by ferry, where he planned to spend a few days with his uncle, Soyearenow and his wife Whataboutye, a couple of Soda breads. His next stop would Dublin to see cousin, Colcannon who had promised a trip to the Guinness Factory, but they would need to avoid the restaurant. There were lots of Boxty’s there so Colcannon thought it best not to chance it. Wee Tam was also a little scared in case they bumped into the Leprechauns his dad had told him about, they sounded as mad as Chewy, so if he didn’t want to become part of a tiny Green man’s lunch, he would need to keep his eyes open!
His UK tour was planned to end in Newcastle with his favourite family member, his Uncle Stottie, who was great fun and loved teasing all the local people, known as Jawdies. Stottie’s wife, Hawaypet, was very frightened and used to tell Wee Tam stories in her letters. She told of their battles with the Jawdies who loved Newkybroon, the ale that Stottie made in his family brewery, which they were always trying to break in and steal. Stottie often mentioned how bad things might get if the Jawdies led by his arch rival, Wyeaye, ever got in. He said they were the thirstiest people in the world and would drink all the stock and eat him. He did say though that the Jawdies would leave Wee Tam alone, as they didn’t like solid food, especially anything Scottish.
What an amazing trip Wee Tam had planned, visiting family in every corner of the country. He was almost overcome by excitement as he stepped onto the Highland train in Glen Jimmy for his epic journey south to the great city of London to meet Uncle Corblimey….
As Wee Tam rushes to catch the Glen Jimmy Express to London, his heart is racing as he thinks of the adventures that lie ahead on his tour of UK. Catch up with his progress for Christmas 2023. Wee Tam's Tour of UK will be released on1st December 2023, make sure it's on your list to Santa........